Sometimes it’s fun to abandon all recipe-naming restraint. Just put all of the possible words that you can into the title. This time it was six. Count ’em: frozen, nutella, cheesecake, ice cream, pie.

Yes I count ice cream and one word. You ought to know that much about me by now. And if you didn’t already know that, then you might be surprised to hear this too – I think food is the funnest. This pie? Case in point.

There are absolutely no naturally occurring food stuffs in this pie. This is alllll manufactured baby. Cream cheese, nutella, pretzels, more nutella, butter, sugar, cream, nutella.

This six-words-long pie is perhaps the definition of a ‘sometimes food’. I feel like Michael Pollan would not be cool with it. I feel like a lot of food people would not be cool with it. It’s hard to care with a mouthful of pie.

Anyway, I know you don’t come here for diet advice! You got that shit locked down I’m sure. You’re eating your greens, and drinking your juice, and making sure you get your two fruits and five vegggies a day.

You come here when that little voice inside your head says…let’s go a little crazy this weekend.

Which, let’s face it, is probably what was going through Miss Scarlet’s head when she went beserk in the conservatory with the lead piping. A piece of pie, in my opinion, is a much less destructive outlet for that part of human nature.

Well, a piece of pie, and letting your competitive streak run wild on the boardgame. Yeah, I’m that pain in the ass who’s competitive at board games. I NEED AN OUTLET PEOPLE. So let me school you at scrabble once in a while, OK?

This pie is crazy-easy to make. It’s not neat, it doesn’t cut amazingly well, and it won’t last in your freezer for more than a fortnight. But that’s not because it’ll spoil. It just won’t survive that long.

Make it, trust me, and you’ll see! Now let’s hit the Monopoly board, bitches! I feel like dominating the property market.

xx Sarah.