THIS WEEK HAS KICKED MY ASS. SO I’m gonna kick back and drink a bunch of beers and eat tots! Just kidding, I have to work all weekend, because this week is apparently not done kicking my ass. But if such is the nature of the week, then dammit, I’m gonna buy some pre-packaged salty rubbish and eat it.

But I’ll be damned if I’m not fancying it up first. I will not let the week drag me down so low as to lose all my integrity as a person who loves food. I will not eat plain tots! For this extremely lazy, but no less delicious spin on what is essentially just good bar food, I turn to Japan. Because no-one does janked up American food better than the Japanese. And in fact, their bar snack game is super solid just generally.

So, these tots are coated in my latest kitchen obsession, Shichimi Togarashi – a spicy, fragrant, mysterious and varied chilli powder. It’s got chilli, sancho peppe, sesame seeds, orange peel, nori, and all sorts of other things, depending on the particular brand you buy. It’s a lucky dip of ingredients, and I love it. So far, things are spicy, and salty and crispy and soft. Things are going well.

Next, you gotta add that Kewpie mayo. Everyone knows it by now, surely, that Japanese mayo is on a new level. It’s creamy, savoury, salty, delicious. Get it into your life, if you haven’t already. Finally, and this is the clincher, you gotta scatter over them scallion greens. That spike of freshness and texture and sharp onion? It couldn’t be better. This and a japanese beer, please. Thank you.

xx Sarah.